Why is he doing all this? Is it curiosity or abnormal? When children are young it is natural and healthy for them to explore their bodies, and in the process they may learn that touching certain parts of their bodies feels good. So they repeat this, even in situations where it may not be appropriate. What You Can Do You can talk with your son about this behavior and help him learn where is okay and not okay to touch himself.
For some children it can become a relaxing strategy they use to get to sleep at night. To deal with it, I would suggest you continue to give her the message to do it in private.
This includes any time you are with her, for example, when you are lying with her before you sleeps. It is not okay for her to touch herself when you are talking to her or when another person is with her. If she starts to do it, even absent mindedly, you should gently ask her to stop.
Picking a gentle and positive though firm tone will help her not feel bad about what you are asking and she will quickly get used to the fact that this is a private behaviour.
The more relaxed and matter of fact you are the more easily she will be able to change. If you are worried that she is doing it too frequently, then you can have a little chat with her about doing it less or only at bedtime and then try and give her alternative strategies or soothing rituals — such as cuddling a teddy, distracting herself by getting up and doing something etc.
If you remain worried about your daughter, or you feel there are other issues that cause you concern, do make contact with a professional such as your GP or another child mental health professional. You could also seek support from other parents either via the Parentline telephone helpline at or a parenting website such as rollercoaster.
Dr John Sharry is a social worker and psychotherapist and director of Parents Plus charity. For details of parent talks and courses see solutiontalk. Readers queries are welcome and will be answered through the column, but John regrets that he cannot enter into individual correspondence. Questions should be e-mailed to healthsupplement irishtimes.
The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff.
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Toddlers are naturally curious about exploring their whole bodies, including their genitals. Here's how to handle this normal stage of development. Why do toddlers touch themselves? Use appropriate language. Teach children proper names for all body parts, including names such as genitals, penis, vagina, breasts, buttocks, and private parts.
Making up names for body parts may give the idea that there is something bad about the proper name. Understand why your child has a special name for the body part but teach the proper name, too. Also, teach your child which parts are private parts covered by a swimming suit. Evaluate your family's respect for modesty. While modesty isn't a concept most young children can fully grasp, you can still use this age to lay a foundation for future discussions and model good behavior.
If you have children of various ages, for example, it's important to teach your younger children to give older siblings their privacy. Usually, older siblings will teach the younger ones to get their clothes on, for example, because they might have friends over or because they are maturing and feel modest even in front of their younger brothers and sisters. Don't force affection. Do not force your children to give hugs or kisses to people they do not want to.
It is their right to tell even grandma or grandpa that they do not want to give them a kiss or a hug goodbye. Inappropriate touching—especially by a trusted adult—can be very confusing to a child. Constantly reinforce the idea that their body is their own, and they can protect it.
It is very important that your child knows to tell you or another trusted grown-up if they have been touched. That way, your child knows it's also your job to protect them. Explain what a good vs. You can explain a "good touch" as a way for people to show they care for each other and help each other i.
A "bad touch" is the kind you don't like and want it to stop right away i. Reassure your child that most touches are okay touches, but that they should say "NO" and need to tell you about any touches that are confusing or that scare them.
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